No More Meltdowns: Strategies to Strengthen Your Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience is what enables people to bounce back after difficult experiences. Fortunately, this is a skill that you can develop to get through stressful times with greater ease.

Here are some of the benefits of becoming more emotionally resilient and a few strategies for developing this very helpful skill.

The Benefits of Becoming More Emotionally Resilient:

1. Experience greater happiness. Adversity is to be expected but you can control your emotional reaction. By putting the best face on things, you'll see the opportunities for learning and growth that come with challenging situations. A positive attitude will also help you recover from disappointments more quickly.


2. Make progress towards your life goals. Complications will arise throughout your life. Being flexible makes it easier to accept and surmount the obstacles that arise in your path. For example, if one scholarship fails to come through, explore other options for financing your college education.


3. Strengthen your relationships. People are naturally drawn to happy people. You're likely to have more harmonious relationships if you can keep up your spirits. By contrast, depression often makes others feel like withdrawing.


4. Boost your self-esteem. Becoming more adaptable helps you accomplish more. In turn, those accomplishments and healthy relationships will help you feel more confident.


5. Act responsibly. Under pressure, you may feel tempted to engage in activities that may cause you future harm. Emotional resilience helps you to keep your composure and makes you less prone to saying something that you might regret later.


6. Protect your physical health. Chronic stress can increase your risk for heart disease, diabetes, obesity and many other conditions. Cultivating a calm mind helps your immune system keep you healthy. Studies show that managing stress can even help you maintain your cognitive functions as you age.


Methods for Becoming More Emotionally Resilient:

1. Know your purpose in life. It's a big endeavor, but discovering your purpose in life is fundamental to your ability to navigate challenges. Some people find meaning in their faith traditions and others define it in secular terms. Whatever approach you take, being on a mission keeps you motivated.


2. Set realistic goals and make specific plans. Some things are beyond your control, but smart planning can enhance your stability. Set goals you can achieve and break them down into manageable steps.


3. Be aware of your emotions. It's easy to get swept away by strong emotions. If you can be mindful of what you're feeling, you can give yourself room to evaluate the situation before reacting. Rather than exchanging angry remarks, acknowledge that a co-worker's criticism in front of colleagues embarrassed you and look for a constructive solution.


4. Practice patience and persistence. Make a commitment to yourself to see things through even when difficulties arise. For example, if you get declined after one job interview, transfer your energies to the next opportunity.


5. Slow down. Sometimes you get more done by slowing down. Lack of sleep or perpetual multi-tasking can cause stress to build up. Give yourself a break to refresh your mind.

6. Act happy. Just trying to appear happy can often help you lift your mood after a setback. Treat yourself to a funny movie or call a friend who always makes you laugh.

7. Learn to ask for help. Make it easier for your loved ones to support you. Practice asking for help in a respectful manner while being specific about what you need.

8. Be generous. The more you give to others, the more likely they are to reciprocate in your time of need and the better you'll feel about yourself.

Emotional resilience is a powerful asset for accomplishing more in life and experiencing greater contentment. Protect your physical and emotional health by learning how to adapt to challenges.

How to Negotiate With Your Subconscious

You might think that you want to be wealthy, slender, and find the person of your dreams. But down deep, there could be a part of you that has other ideas.

Your subconscious has the job of keeping you safe, regardless of how much grief it might cause you.

While you might be miserable in your current situation, your subconscious might believe that any change is potentially hazardous. If you find yourself stuck and unable to create any positive change in your life, your subconscious might be fighting your best efforts.

Imagine having all of your brain on your side. You’d attack every goal you have with enthusiasm. You wouldn’t have to force yourself to do anything related to your goals again. Everything could just flow.

Use these ideas to learn to negotiate with your subconscious and change your life:

1. Your subconscious is constantly communicating with you. It does so through body feelings. It’s that queasy feeling in your stomach, that feeling of dread, and the sound of blood pounding in your ears.

● When you think about eating a hot fudge sundae or jumping from an airplane, you’re receiving a message from your subconscious.

● However, just because you’re receiving a message doesn't mean you should follow it. Think of the communication as a suggestion. It’s your job to determine if the message is a good one or not.

2. Use the power of the pen. Writing can be a great way to get a clearer message from your subconscious.

● Suppose you wanted to know the purpose of your life. You would simply write, “The purpose of my life” on the top of a page in a notebook. Then, write down whatever pops into your mind.

● You might think, “This is dumb.” Write it down. Keep writing your thoughts for at least 20 minutes. When you hit on something that feels meaningful, circle it. You’ll intuitively know when you’ve hit on the right answer for you. The feeling is quite clear.

● Much of what you receive will be little more than static. So, keep going until you’ve reached the good stuff. Avoid giving up too soon.

3. Talk to your subconscious. Suppose you find it hard to earn and save money. There is a reason for that. There’s part of you that either believes having money is bad, or that having little money is good.

● Find an hour you can spend alone. Ask yourself questions and listen to the answers. Your mind must be still for this. It’s important to be relaxed. Speak to your subconscious like it’s a friend.

● You could ask yourself, “Why are you preventing us from making more money?” or “What are you trying to accomplish by keeping us poor?” “What do you think would happen if we had more money?” Listen to the answers and write them down.

● Once you have your answers, you can negotiate a compromise. Maybe your subconscious believes that having too much money would be selfish. You could ask if giving 10% of your earnings to charity would be acceptable. Find a solution and propose it. Listen to the answer.

Are you stuck? Maybe your subconscious is to blame. Your subconscious is trying to keep you safe, but it’s not always intelligent. It has been tainted by your negative experiences as a child and your erroneous beliefs.

It’s important to know how to skillfully negotiate with your subconscious. The subconscious always wins, so be sure to get it on your side. Fighting with yourself is the biggest obstacle of all.